Generational Sin

When my Mom was growing up,
she saw her father, beat her mother!
Then my Mom got married to a man,
who beat her down with words,
instead of fists!
She told me, she accepted it
because at least he didn't hit!
I still remember...
Dad violently berating her,
as she ran away...crying, hiding!
He shrugged his shoulders
and said to me, "Oh well...
eat your dinner."
Such aloofness...tied my hands...
and taped my mouth!
Hypocrisy...was his fool's-gold crown!
The king of his castle,
with the face of a jester,
leaving us on shifting ground!
It took so long, for me to trust a man,
a Christian, a believer!
He...to me...
was like a smiling-in-church,
kind of cartoon character,
pretending to be happy...
yet, causing all the chaos!
Like my sister,
who never takes responsibility,
for her mess!
Stabbing with her knife!
Then questioning why you've bled!
Like my Mom, who enables them,
making excuses, saying,
"They just don't know!"
Yet, expecting me to put on
my perfect glow!
They made small things...big
and big things...small!
Never dealing with bad behavior
because if they did,
they'd have to admit,
they weren't perfect!
But if the honest ones,
ever pointed it out,
hoping for some accountability,
so that the rudeness would stop,
the honest ones (or the victims)
would be belittled
and accused of unforgiveness!
Wow! Even as a child,
I knew how backwards that was!
As the Bible says, 'A little leaven,
ruins the whole loaf of bread!'
So, the sick cycle continued!
The honest ones, had to stay silent...
while the selfish, foolish ones
grew more and more
selfish and foolish!
Their prideful hearts, growing so hard,
that they couldn't understand or care,
that other people had feelings!
It was all about them!
Their attitude was...
'I can demean you, all I want
but...how dare you get hurt!'
"There's no perfect family!
Bring it up...and you're the jerk!"
They call themselves, 'Christians!'
Yet, they have no love!
They're like clanging gongs,
placing themselves above!
I grew up,
balancing on teeter-totters...
without any spotters...
except for the goodness
and grace of God,
who kept reminding me,
throughout my life,
of how important I was.
God kept turning my head
away from them and towards Him.
And every time, I prayed for unity,
He said, "Leave them!"
My siblings brought their
destructive behavior
into their marriages...
belittling their spouses
and their children,
with no accountability...
because they never learned as kids,
how to have right relationship!
And so, the cycle continues,
acting like empty,
white-washed tombs,
objectifying one another,
tearing down...
what was meant to be built up!
We were meant to be built up,
on the strong foundation
of God's love!
If you keep sweeping bad behavior
under the rug...guess what?
It doesn't leave!
It gets worse!
If all you care about
is having a bunch of strangers
in your church,
think that you have
the perfect household,
while you refuse to clean the dirt...
guess what?
You bring on a curse!
My family's threshold is
self-righteousness!
And Satan's got more then his foot,
in the doorway!